This weekend I went on a retreat with my a cappella group, NOTA. It was a lot of fun and we spent most of our time talking and hanging out with each other. However about 2 or 3 times I wanted to excuse myself from the group to read a book I liked, one that I wanted to get back to reading. The first time I said this to the group they said something like, “Why did you bring that here? You’re with all of us!” This was asked out of pure curiosity with perhaps a hint of mild judgment. But around the second or third time I wanted to excuse myself to read, the message took a different tone: “Seriously, why are you doing that?? You can do that anytime!” These replies, I felt, were more intended to guilt me away from reading and back into spending time with them.
So I get that I could read a book anytime and that everyone is here together, but reading is something I do to relax myself. I didn’t really say that at the time, but I figured most people viewed it that way. Also it’s not like I read so much that I dropped out of all the activities we did. I participated in pretty much everything we did, and only really read when I felt like there was a lull in what we were doing. I’d say the maximum amount of time I spent reading on this day-and-a-half trip was one hour.
…Do these attitudes towards me reading seem kind of harsh? Yeah? If you think so, you’re not alone. Maybe I can offer an explanation: I wasn’t ever actually reading, and I never said I was going to go read. I said I was going to play video games.
Ah, now it makes sense—I didn’t get this treatment because I wanted to read, it was because I wanted to play video games! But...everything I said otherwise was true. For me, video games offer a kind of relaxing solace others find in reading. I want to spend time with my friends, and I did that for the vast majority of the weekend. But sometimes I just want to do the things that relax me and make me feel happy, which is often playing video games.
We have this stigma about video games that prevents many of us from seeing them as anything beyond some dumb thing that wastes our time. I see them in the same light as reading for fun, they’re experiences that engage your mind in a gripping and exciting way. I’d actually argue in many cases video games can provide more than books, like forcing your brain to think how to act in novel situations, or allowing you to experience deeply interactive scenarios not often present in books.*
I don’t want to made to feel bad about doing something I love, especially when it’s not seriously impacting my life or anyone else’s in a negative way. I just want to help others understand why this stigmatized, child’s activity might actually be more than meets the eye
<3
~~~~Footnote~~~~
*This isn’t to say that video games are more fun or better for you overall than reading is (I read a lot, by the way). Video games and books each have their strengths. Books often make me think about my worldviews and expose me to ideas I’d never before considered. Video games don’t do that very often. But video games do let me share an immediate experience with someone in a visceral way I don’t find from books. They also act as a very specific test: “how good can you be at doing XYZ?” Honestly having written this out I don’t even see why we need to compare the benefits they bring—do whichever brings you more enjoyment!
