A couple of my good friends are also named Matt, so when people see us together they choose different ways to greet us: "Hey guys!" "What’s up, Matts?" "Top of the morning, ruffians.” But one greeting bothers me more than all the others, and if you decided to read the title of this piece before the body (freak), then you already know what it is. Yes, I’m talking about the infamous "Yo, it’s Matt^2!”*
It’s the kind of cutesy, I-know-what-math-is way of acknowledging two people with the same name. But here’s the thing: it’s wrong.
This is what you have when you see two Matts:
Now let’s assume that instead of a pair of Matts, you’re greeting a pair of 7s.
When you say "Hey, what's up, 7^2?" you’re calling them 49.
Because when you see people together, you add them, you don't multiply them.
So when seeing us, there are two Matts and two Matts only. Saying Matt squared means you’re multiplying “Matt” by itself--that there is a “Matt” amount of Matts, which I imagine might look something like this:
So yes, it sounds cute and funny and smart and whatever, but just as 7+7 = 2*7 (or 14), so does Matt + Matt = 2Matt .
The Matt community faces a host of issues and we’d really appreciate it if you would greet us correctly. And if you are aware of this and continue to willingly perpetuate erroneous arithmetic, well, then there’s a special place in H-E-(hockey sticks)^2 for you.
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*I have no problems with people saying “Yo” followed by a contraction.
